A New Year's Grace

Last year I posted at the end of January declaring that the only resolution I usually keep is the one not to make any more resolutions (I Cannot Come Down).  I'm happy to say that I did in fact kept that resolution for 2012.  I wish I could say that for 2013 I am making a list and am determined to check off all sorts of excellent accomplishments one by one over the next 365 days.  The problem is that I know myself too well.  In the past I have had lots of good intentions at which I've failed spectacularly (keep my desk straight, eat more healthfully, tame the pile of paperwork, write for 30 minutes a day, pray for 30 minutes a day, exercise 30 minutes a day, keep some margin in my life, remember to take my reusable shopping bags to the grocery store, etc.).  We all know where the road paved with good intentions leads so I have started looking at the daunting task of New Years Resolutions in a different light.  Instead of piling on expectations for myself I'm choosing to live under the grace in which I stand in Christ Jesus and to rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. (Romans 5:2).  

There's nothing wrong with setting goals and accomplishing them.  In fact, I require it in my home.  I am very motivated by the goals I set for myself.  God gives us the ability to be self controlled and self disciplined through the Holy Spirit and it would be foolhardy to decide to float through life reacting to whatever comes along.  

Sometimes though, I've been known to set goals without ascertaining whether they are goals that Drew wants or goals that Jesus wants.  Inevitably, when they are "because I think this is a good thing to do" me-centered goals they flop.  I put pressure and guilt on myself that He never intended me to bear.  Even the seemingly spiritual "read my Bible every day" if done in the flesh becomes more of a check in the box than a relationship builder between my Father and I as it should be.  Likewise as innocuous as the goals of keeping my desk straight or remembering to bring those bags to the store seem, I can beat myself up pretty badly when I feel that I've failed.  I tell myself that other people can do it and I should be able to do it too.  All of the little things that I don't have under control can combine into a viscious ball of guilt.  It's not that I am a total mess (usually) but I know I could do better.  

The problem with this thinking is that it is has a root in pride.  It all comes down to what I can do in my own strength.  Pride is my nemesis.    Apparently I am not alone because the Bible addresses this problem a lot.  Even the attempt at false humility is prideful- go figure!  Whatever I decide to take the reins of and control in my own power, without giving glory to God, (apart from Whom I can do nothing- John 15:5), is an object of pride.  My neat desk.  My organized homeschool.  My healthful meals. My 30 minutes of prayer.  My ("You go green girl!") reusable shopping bags.  

James 4 addresses my problem with laser precision. Read verses 1- 10:

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

⁴ You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. ⁵ Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? ⁶ But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud
    but gives grace to the humble.”^[b]

⁷ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."

When the focus of my goal or of my asking God for direction or blessing is self-motivated instead of Christ-motivated it leads to unfulfilled, unholy desires and opposition from God.  The only way to change this is to humble myself under His mighty hand so He can lift me up.  It's no good trying to lift myself up through bootstrap will power and pride.  He only gives grace to me when my heart comes to Him in humility.  His Spirit in me "envies intensely'.  God will not NOT be glorified in me.  His plans for my life are perfect and He doesn't want anything in my life to take His place.  He says that the reason I want things and I don't get them is because I pridefully make plans instead of submitting myself to Him and drawing near to Him.

James goes on to say this in verses 13-17:

"Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. ¹⁷ Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins."

My attitude should be: If it is the Lord's will, I will live and do this or that.  I will live.  Indeed, unless it is His will I can't even live!  That's a great place from which to start- knowing that apart from Him I can do nothing. If my plans aren't His plans they aren't going anywhere.

So, again, there's nothing wrong with making plans or setting goals, expectations and hopes for yourself.  Formulating plans, goals and expectations and then asking God to bless them is wrong.  It's backwards.   Instead we ought to ask Him what we should pursue, submit ourselves to His will and leave room for His sovereignty and grace in all of our plans.  We need to hold them all with an open hand.  This is difficult because although I am no longer a slave to sin (Romans 6:6), I still live with the effects of my sinful nature. The tighter I hold on to my plans the more it hurts when God's plan is different from mine. That's why I am so thankful that He gives me more grace (v.6).  

Wouldn't you know, God is giving me more grace right this minute?  I am content to stand in this grace and wait to see what His plans are for me this year.  I'm going to try to ask Him what He wants for me and not make assumptions, goals, resolutions or plans without Him.     

 It's easy for me to understand that my life here on earth in this body is a vaporous mist, and yet I am living a real life with a real future (Jeremiah 29:11).  The prospect of a New Year is filled with all sorts of possibilities.  I look forward with humility and joy to the plans He has for me this year as He makes me more like Him by His grace.