Got Adolescents? Passport2Purity is a Key Resource

There are some pivotal life choices made during the ages of 11-15.  That's one reason my husband and I decided to be very deliberate about setting our children up for success in navigating these often tumultuous years.  Just like most Christian parents, we have been actively training them from the time they were born, and praying for them each step of the way.  It is our heart's desire that they know the Lord and that they walk in the fullness of life they can have in Him all the days of their lives.  We want to help them understand the wisdom of following the precepts God lays out in the Bible.  We always remind them that they can learn things two ways, through personal experience or through other people's personal experience.  Not all lessons have to be learned the hard way.  Wisdom means hearing and heeding the advice and council of those who are further down the road and especially of God.

The best time to think about where you stand on sex, drugs, smoking,  bullying, and inappropriate activities is not when you walk in the door to a party or get confronted with a choice.  These are things kids need to discuss with their parents in a safe, open environment  way ahead of time.

Many parents dread the "big conversation" they know they need to have with their kids before it's too late.  We've been having age appropriate conversations with our kids as the topic of sex comes up but at some point, we knew we would need to lay out the facts clearly from God's perspective and help them think through the boundaries they wanted to set for themselves.   For both of our children, when they reached the age of 12 we  did some "official training."  By that, I mean we used specially made "so now you're growing up" guides during long weekends.  For our son, we used Preparing for Adolescence (Focus on the Family) and for our daughter we used Passport 2 Purity (Dennis and Barbara Rainey- Family Life).  Both of these were excellent experiences for parent and child alike.

Our  Passport2Purity weekend was truly one to remember.  A few weeks beforehand, I made reservations at a fancy hotel here in Hawaii and started previewing the materials.  I listened to the parent CD's and gathered the materials I needed for the five activities that went with the sessions.  About a week before, I told my daughter that we would be going on a weekend, just the two of us and that we would be having lots of fun and also discussing important stuff she needed to know about growing up.

Our big weekend finally came and we headed off in the car to have a special dinner together at a restaurant.  While we were there, I explained what we were doing a little more and gave her an Adventure Journal- which was part of the curriculum.  I also read letters to her that my husband and I had written telling her how proud we were of her and how important it was to us to help her grow up to be a young lady who loved the Lord.

We left the dinner and started listening to the CD in the car.   Dennis and Barbara Rainey have a very thoughtful, conversational style that is easy to listen to.  They pepper their talks with examples, anecdotes, humor and wisdom.  It isn't stuffy or boring.  This was the first of five sessions in which Dennis and Barbara Rainey lay out the plan for the weekend and build a foundation of the importance of recognizing God's word as the authority in our lives.

To emphasize the point of each session, the Rainey's gave instructions for a one-on-one activity that a parent can do with a child.  For this first session, I bought two different 100 piece puzzles.  One I left in the box and the other I took out of the box and put into a Chinese takeout container- minus a few pieces.  Then I announced that we were going to have a silent race to see who could finish their puzzle first and set the timer for 10 minutes.  You can imagine the frustration she felt when she realized that she didn't even know what she was supposed to be putting together- there was no picture to go by!  Of course, I got more of my puzzle done than she did, although she was a really good sport about it.  The point of the lesson was that  no matter where we go or what we do, God has given us His word as a guide.  The Bible is like our box top for all areas of life.  Without the guide, life doesn't make sense.  

God's Word is like a puzzle box top.

  Then we listened to session two which was about Peer Pressure and Running with the Herd. They encouraged kids to stay on the right track and influence others with positive peer pressure instead of succumbing to negative peer pressure.   During these sessions, the parent and child follow along in their respective books and the child fills in a few blanks as she listens.  These were thought provoking questions at the end of each session and they guided us into some very important conversations.  

I had prepared a few small gifts to give my daughter, just to say, I love you.  Each one was chosen because I knew she would appreciate it.  I wrapped these up and every couple of sessions, she would open one.  

On Saturday we had a nice breakfast and then did session three, Growing to Sexual Maturity.  Yes, there was some squirming but the Raineys did a great job of presenting the facts and they made it easy to continue to keep conversation open about these issues. (There is a separate CD track for boys.)  My favorite part of this discussion was when she asked me- "So...there are two of us kids... so you guys have done this TWICE?"  Funny, that's the same thing I remember wondering when my mom talked to me when I was a girl.  :)

After that conversation we were ready for some fun so we went to the pool and  took a walk on the beach.   

Beach wedding and beach bums.

Session four was "Staying Pure" which discussed establishing boundaries in life.  Finally, "It's a Date!", the last session, dealt with dating- sharpening convictions about dating and why parents need to be involved.  This last session was an important one because after presenting ways to stay pure and set boundaries, Dennis and Barbara give the kids an opportunity to make some decisions proactively- before they are in a difficult situation.  This was a very positive session for us.  My daughter was able to think through some issues, come to conclusions and convictions and cement them by writing them out in her journal.  I gave her a special necklace to help her remember the weekend and the decisions she made.  

To top our weekend off, we went out to eat and then to the theater to see a local production of The Phantom of the Opera.  It was fabulous. 

I knew that this weekend would be an important rite of passage but I didn't realize how much it would mean to my daughter.  When we came home after The Phantom, she was overcome with emotion and said that she felt loved and knew that she had two parents who were fully committed to helping her successfully make her way through whatever the future held.  The relatively small amount of time we invested in proactively preparing her for the challenges of adolescence and the teen years was already reaping the benefit of a closer connection with our daughter.

Have you used Passport2Purity?  I'd love to hear how your weekend went.