Snowy Slopes and Straining Sludge

The day after Christmas my family packed up and headed to Breckenridge for a day of skiing.  I have to admit that my number one goal for the day was to get to the end of it in one piece.  If I had some fun, great.  If not, wholeness would be it’s own reward.  Neither of my children had skied before so we went straight to the bunny slopes for some instruction.  We weren’t able to work out joint lessons with “real instructors” for the kids so my husband and I looked at each other and said, ”How hard could it be?”  We each took a child and systematically showed them the basics.  There was lots of instructing going on. “Look at me,”  “Watch this,”  “Do this,”  “Try this,”  “No, don’t do that”.  

All day. 

You get my drift.  (No pun intended.  Ok, pun was intended.  Forgive me.) 

My husband and I already know how to ski but never once did it cross our minds to say, “Hey  guys, here are some poles and skiis.  There’s the lift- good luck!”  Ok.  Maybe once but we thought better of it.  Anyway, later it got me thinking.  That’s exactly what some Christian parents are doing these days with their kids and media.  They’re driving them to the slopes and then letting them out with an iPad and a prayer.  Completely unprepared or trained navigate the slopes of our culture. 

How should Christians respond to the remarkably powerful influence of the media that floods our society?   

1. Know the Word.  This is far and away the most vital step.  In fact, none of the rest of it is going to do any good unless you have this foundation. Reading, studying , discussing and memorizing the Word, there’s just no way around it. Truth cannot be ascertained from Error if we don’t know the truth and have it residing in our in-most being.  This concept is so common it is almost cliché but bankers and FBI agents know what the counterfeits are because they study the real thing. Anything that varies from the true deal is deemed counterfeit.  Children must have this ability in order to wade through the sludge of this world.  You are investing in eternity when you make scripture memory a part of your child’s education. 

2. You can and you SHOULD set boundaries in the area of media consumption for your children.  

We need to teach our kids that we are stewards of our media engagement.  We don’ t have to watch all of this. We don’t have to listen to it.  We don’t have to play.  We don’t have to go.  Sure, we can’t hide out in little holes and hope we never have to touch the world.  It’s our responsibility to be aware of what’s going on in the culture, but we do not have to be immersed in it.  In fact, we shouldn’t be. I think that’s what Jesus was saying when he told us to be in the world but not of it.  Young people are particularly vulnerable to media.  That’s why it’s so crucial for parents to act like parents and set boundaries. 

There is such a dearth of good content (that resonates Biblically) out there in media-land that sometimes it’s tempting to let some pretty sludgy stuff into our lives.  (“it’s not as bad as XYZ show”) As parents, this is something we must constantly evaluate.  Just because tons of people watch something doesn’t make it acceptable to bring into the temple of our minds and hearts.  There’s no reason to take in sludge just because we have a strainer.  We need to learn to slow the media flow down and control it, instead of letting it control us.    Don’t consume as much garbage.  Our primary consumption of ideas  should come through the written word.

3.  Find a systematic mechanism to teach your children Christian worldview.     

Parents absolutely must be deliberate in the training of their children in Christian worldview.  Make no mistake, your children are learning a worldview whether you are officially  teaching it to them or not.  Everyone filters their ideas through some sort of grid and if you don’t give them a grid to use (the Bible) they will filter it through the grid of the world- of humanism, secularism, postmodernism, and whatever is being put forth by their teachers and the media.  I recommend a systematic approach because it will cover all of the basic apologetics of Christianity.  Your children need to have ready answers for questions such as “Is there is a God and if so, what is He like?” (All worldviews have an answer to this question) and “ Is there Absolute Truth? If so, what does this mean for me?” They need to be able to read an article in the newspaper or listen to a song on the radio or watch a commercial on TV and be able to answer the questions: What is being presented here?  Why does it have such a powerful attraction to people?  What is the truth?  How do I come up with a Truth-based answer to the culture? 

If you’re not confident about how you would answer these questions, now is the perfect time to educate yourself along with your kids.  Don’t shy away from teaching systematic worldview just because you don’t feel qualified.  Make it a priority and qualify yourself through education.   I recommend using The Truth Project for high schoolers and mature middle schoolers but there are scores of other resources out there.  Choose one and do it. 

  

4. Spend more time reading.   Reading is an analytical activity as opposed to media consumption, which is highly emotive. When you read, you have the ability to stop and think about what you have read.  Media just keeps going.  We should be reading more than watching and reading broadly as well as historically.  We must understand history from a Christian perspective. Every Christian parent  should be able to give an intelligent answer to their children when they ask: “how did we get to this point in our culture?”  If you are a bit rusty on your history of the world from Ancient Rome to Postmodern times, I highly recommend getting a highlighter and copy of “How Should We Then Live” by Francis Schaeffer and reading it this weekend.  He has written an excellent and concise analysis of what he calls “The Rise and Decline of Western Thought and Culture”.  It should be required reading for all Christian high schoolers and those who wish to understand these times.  As George Santayana, an American philosopher and poet said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”  It’s shocking how predictable the future of cultural norms is when you understand the past.

Thankfully, many Christian families have embraced the idea of reading as entertainment (i.e. reading excellent literature aloud even into the upper grades) and of getting back to the “great books” of the Western Canon.  This is the foundation of the Classical Education movement, especially in home schools and Christian schools.  As a result, there are many more children reading and thinking critically about the future in light of the past.  I find this very encouraging considering the times in which we live.

Nutty but fun.  

So,  where are you in all of this?  Take some time and evaluate your readiness as far as training your kids to respond Biblically  to media and the culture.  If you're on track, keep moving in the right direction and if you haven't left the station, get going.  Wherever you are, God will give you the insight and strength to train you children if you surrender to him and give Him control of this area of your life.

We're all in process.  I'd love to hear where you are and how God is working in you as you train your children in responding Biblically to media and the culture. 

Got Adolescents? Passport2Purity is a Key Resource

There are some pivotal life choices made during the ages of 11-15.  That's one reason my husband and I decided to be very deliberate about setting our children up for success in navigating these often tumultuous years.  Just like most Christian parents, we have been actively training them from the time they were born, and praying for them each step of the way.  It is our heart's desire that they know the Lord and that they walk in the fullness of life they can have in Him all the days of their lives.  We want to help them understand the wisdom of following the precepts God lays out in the Bible.  We always remind them that they can learn things two ways, through personal experience or through other people's personal experience.  Not all lessons have to be learned the hard way.  Wisdom means hearing and heeding the advice and council of those who are further down the road and especially of God.

The best time to think about where you stand on sex, drugs, smoking,  bullying, and inappropriate activities is not when you walk in the door to a party or get confronted with a choice.  These are things kids need to discuss with their parents in a safe, open environment  way ahead of time.

Many parents dread the "big conversation" they know they need to have with their kids before it's too late.  We've been having age appropriate conversations with our kids as the topic of sex comes up but at some point, we knew we would need to lay out the facts clearly from God's perspective and help them think through the boundaries they wanted to set for themselves.   For both of our children, when they reached the age of 12 we  did some "official training."  By that, I mean we used specially made "so now you're growing up" guides during long weekends.  For our son, we used Preparing for Adolescence (Focus on the Family) and for our daughter we used Passport 2 Purity (Dennis and Barbara Rainey- Family Life).  Both of these were excellent experiences for parent and child alike.

Our  Passport2Purity weekend was truly one to remember.  A few weeks beforehand, I made reservations at a fancy hotel here in Hawaii and started previewing the materials.  I listened to the parent CD's and gathered the materials I needed for the five activities that went with the sessions.  About a week before, I told my daughter that we would be going on a weekend, just the two of us and that we would be having lots of fun and also discussing important stuff she needed to know about growing up.

Our big weekend finally came and we headed off in the car to have a special dinner together at a restaurant.  While we were there, I explained what we were doing a little more and gave her an Adventure Journal- which was part of the curriculum.  I also read letters to her that my husband and I had written telling her how proud we were of her and how important it was to us to help her grow up to be a young lady who loved the Lord.

We left the dinner and started listening to the CD in the car.   Dennis and Barbara Rainey have a very thoughtful, conversational style that is easy to listen to.  They pepper their talks with examples, anecdotes, humor and wisdom.  It isn't stuffy or boring.  This was the first of five sessions in which Dennis and Barbara Rainey lay out the plan for the weekend and build a foundation of the importance of recognizing God's word as the authority in our lives.

To emphasize the point of each session, the Rainey's gave instructions for a one-on-one activity that a parent can do with a child.  For this first session, I bought two different 100 piece puzzles.  One I left in the box and the other I took out of the box and put into a Chinese takeout container- minus a few pieces.  Then I announced that we were going to have a silent race to see who could finish their puzzle first and set the timer for 10 minutes.  You can imagine the frustration she felt when she realized that she didn't even know what she was supposed to be putting together- there was no picture to go by!  Of course, I got more of my puzzle done than she did, although she was a really good sport about it.  The point of the lesson was that  no matter where we go or what we do, God has given us His word as a guide.  The Bible is like our box top for all areas of life.  Without the guide, life doesn't make sense.  

God's Word is like a puzzle box top.

  Then we listened to session two which was about Peer Pressure and Running with the Herd. They encouraged kids to stay on the right track and influence others with positive peer pressure instead of succumbing to negative peer pressure.   During these sessions, the parent and child follow along in their respective books and the child fills in a few blanks as she listens.  These were thought provoking questions at the end of each session and they guided us into some very important conversations.  

I had prepared a few small gifts to give my daughter, just to say, I love you.  Each one was chosen because I knew she would appreciate it.  I wrapped these up and every couple of sessions, she would open one.  

On Saturday we had a nice breakfast and then did session three, Growing to Sexual Maturity.  Yes, there was some squirming but the Raineys did a great job of presenting the facts and they made it easy to continue to keep conversation open about these issues. (There is a separate CD track for boys.)  My favorite part of this discussion was when she asked me- "So...there are two of us kids... so you guys have done this TWICE?"  Funny, that's the same thing I remember wondering when my mom talked to me when I was a girl.  :)

After that conversation we were ready for some fun so we went to the pool and  took a walk on the beach.   

Beach wedding and beach bums.

Session four was "Staying Pure" which discussed establishing boundaries in life.  Finally, "It's a Date!", the last session, dealt with dating- sharpening convictions about dating and why parents need to be involved.  This last session was an important one because after presenting ways to stay pure and set boundaries, Dennis and Barbara give the kids an opportunity to make some decisions proactively- before they are in a difficult situation.  This was a very positive session for us.  My daughter was able to think through some issues, come to conclusions and convictions and cement them by writing them out in her journal.  I gave her a special necklace to help her remember the weekend and the decisions she made.  

To top our weekend off, we went out to eat and then to the theater to see a local production of The Phantom of the Opera.  It was fabulous. 

I knew that this weekend would be an important rite of passage but I didn't realize how much it would mean to my daughter.  When we came home after The Phantom, she was overcome with emotion and said that she felt loved and knew that she had two parents who were fully committed to helping her successfully make her way through whatever the future held.  The relatively small amount of time we invested in proactively preparing her for the challenges of adolescence and the teen years was already reaping the benefit of a closer connection with our daughter.

Have you used Passport2Purity?  I'd love to hear how your weekend went.

I Cannot Come Down

That's me on the top, in my orange bathrobe.

We're at the end of January and I am remembering that I have a love/ hate relationship with New Years resolutions.  The only one I've been completely successful in keeping is the one deciding never to write any more resolutions.  It certainly makes sense to stop and think about what I should improve on during the year.  January 1st is the perfect time to wipe the slate clean.  Out with the old, in with the new.  The thing is, I know myself and I know that I usually do not have the self-control and determination to keep half of the promises I make to myself.  I usually slide into February disgusted with myself for not even being able to keep my desk straight for the obligatory 21 days it takes to form a new habit.

Part of the problem with many of the resolutions I have made in the past is that I haven't been completely on board with them.  They aren't true passions of mine.  Exhibit A: neater desk.  I'm creative, I've got a lot running in the background of my life. Lots of responsibilities, projects and ideas.  There is no moss growing under my desk.   Having a neater workspace would be nice but it doesn't resonate in my gut that this is completely necessary, therefore, it doesn't move to the top of my list of things to spend my time doing (until the piles get so big that even I can't stand it any more).

So, what IS necessary?  Since I'm a Christian, this question by nature has to involve God.   If I desire to follow the Lord and live for Him, it changes the question to: what is necessary for me in light of what God is doing in my life?  To paraphrase Henry Blackaby, where can I clearly see God working around me and how can I join Him there by focusing on the things He has for me to do right now?  Not what He has other people doing or what I think I should be doing, but what He has clearly given me to do.

Earlier this month I was talking to my mom and dad about a book project I am working on. I know that this is something the Lord started in my life and that He wants me to finish it but sometimes it feels like the process is taking too long and it's easy to get distracted.  They both encouraged me to keep working and to make this the year that I finish it.

My dad sent me a link to a sermon by Andy Stanley of North Point Church in Georgia.  It was a simple message but an important one.  He recounted the story of Nehemiah, a Jewish man who was a Persian king's cup bearer.  Basically, Nehemiah tried the wine before the king tasted it.  If Nehemiah died after the first sip, the king would know that one of his enemies had tried to poison him.  High stakes work.

Nehemiah found out that Jerusalem was in bad shape and that the walls were laying in piles of rubble all around the city.  Nehemiah boldly asked the king for some time off to go to Jerusalem so he could  try to rebuild the wall.  Not only did the king allow him to go but he also made Nehemiah the governor of Jerusalem and gave Him everything he needed to build the wall.  The wall had been torn down for so long that  the city would have had a "kick me" sign on the front gate if they'd had one.  Jerusalem was completely vulnerable.  Because of this there was no sense of national pride or- more importantly- understanding that God was with them.  Nehemiah came to the conclusion that although there were lots of problems that needed to be addressed in the city, there was one thing he absolutely had to do: to rebuild the wall around the city so the people would be protected and recognize that God was with them.

He gathered the citizens of Jerusalem around and laid out the problem, the solution and the vision for the people.  As the Jews made progress while they were building,  their enemies started to get concerned and defensive.  They sent spies, infiltrated their workers, and sent armed forces to attack the men working on the wall.  These folks caused lots of problems but the Jews kept building.

When it was almost complete, one of Nehemiah's enemies, Sanballat, tried to distract him and get him off the wall so he could kill him and stop the building of the wall.  He sent a deceptively friendly sounding letter to Nehemiah saying,

"Hey Nehi, Why don't you come down so we can talk for a while?"

Nehemiah had a profound answer for Sanballat:

"I am doing a great work and I cannot come down."

The work God gave Nehemiah was not going to be thwarted by a distraction. Nehemiah was focused on the one thing God had clearly given him to do.  Build the wall.

Nehemiah goes on to ask Sanballat, "Why should I stop and come down to you?  How does spending time with you benefit the work I am doing- that God gave me to do?"

Satan doesn't make it obvious that he is using "good" things in our lives to distract us from the the great work God has called us to. In fact,  those things often appear deceptively benign, like Sanballat's invitation to spend time with Nehemiah.  Satan never tells us that He is trying to destroy us and the work God is doing through us- he just leads us off through distraction and other things my husband calls "bright shiny objects."

So, the take away from this passage is: what is the one thing you need to do?  What great work has God given you, that you need to focus on completely without distraction or interruption- until it is finished?  A relationship? A habit? A project? A ministry? A business?  Ask God to show you the thing, and then climb up on that wall and complete the task.   I would add that this must me done while abiding in Him.    Without Him we can do nothing.

For me, the one thing is actually two: this book project and my commitment to homeschooling with excellence.  For both of these, I can say with Nehemiah, "I am doing a great thing, and I cannot come down."  I will not be distracted by what others are doing or by what they want me to do, or even by what I think I should be doing.  There are plenty of good things out there but only the things that God has given to me specifically are beneficial for me to spend time on.

So, as far as New Years resolutions go, I'm still resolved not to make them.  At least not without the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I am, however a big fan of asking the Lord, what would you have me to do?  And then resolving to be fully committed to climbing up on the wall and doing those things in His strength.

PS: I have fixed the problem with comments so please try again!

Parks and Prayers

I have a friend from Australia and one day when we were driving around together we scored a great space in the front of the store we were going to.  "Yea! I love it when I get good parks!"  she exclaimed.  That cracked me up.  It's true, small things like a space up front can really make my day.  We have her to thank for a new favorite family saying.  That reminds me of something we're studying in school right now- the book of Ephesians.  Yes, my parking dilemnas make me think of the Bible. :)

We're taking a month and reading through this tiny letter every day and then taking time to talk about it, meditate on it and pray through it. This is a book packed with wisdom and insight for believers. Small but mighty.   I find when I read the same thing over and over in scripture, instead of getting old, it gets better.  Funny how that never happens with anything else.  I'd never consider reading a newspaper article more than 30 times.  And even if I did, I'd never expect to glean much more than I did the first time around.  God's Word isn't like that though.  There is such a depth to it that there is no way to exhaust it.  Start reading cross references and meditating on each verse and it's as if a whole new world opens up.  It always makes me smile when I find a new connection or thread tying scripture to scripture.  I shouldn't be surprised but sometimes I am.

While in prison, Paul wrote Ephesians to his fellow believers at the church in Ephesus.  He loved these folks because he had established their church during his third missionary journey (Acts 19) and spent about 3 years as their pastor.  After he left, Timothy pastored the flock for about a year and a half, mostly because there were some movers and shakers in the church who were teaching false doctrine.  It's interesting that even at that early stage in the church, there were Christians who were being led down the wrong path by folks claiming to be believers, who spoke with authority and confidence, but didn't really know the truth.  (1 Tim. 1:7)

There are only 6 chapters in Ephesians.  The first three are focused on theology and doctrine, and the last three are practical insights into Godly living.  In chapter one, Paul starts off reminding the Ephesians of the indescribably vast riches they posess in Christ.  Not only are they (and we) blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms right now, but also in the past and the future!  God chose us before the foundation of the world to be adopted as sons and in the future he will gather all things together to Himself and we will receive an inheritance that we could never imagine.

And why did God chose to save us?  Because of His own pleasure and will, for the praise of His glory. 

Paul prays a fervent prayer for these believers in Ephesians 1:15-23.  What a contrast to prayers I often find myself offering up.  "Lord, bless me today, keep me safe, help me find good parks."  These words he prays spill out from his understanding that we should set our minds on things above, not on earthly things..because earthly things are temporal but heavenly things are eternal. (Colossians 3:2) Paul is praying for those he loved with eternity in mind.  These are words I can turn right around and pray for those I love as well.

Lord, thank you for this person I love.  Father, would you please give them a spirit of wisdom and reveal knowledge of Yourself to them?  Please open their spiritual eyes of understanding so that they may know the hope of your calling and the vast riches of the inheritance they have in You.  Lord, let them know that the same power that You used to raise Jesus from the dead is working in them because they believe in you.  After You raised Jesus from the dead, you seated Him at your right hand in the heavenly realms.  Jesus is above all principality, power, might, dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the that which is to come.  All things are under His feet and he is head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.  

This prayer is very similar to the prayer Paul prays for the church in Colossae in Colossians 1:9-12.  In that prayer, he also prays that these believers will walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.

These are powerful words to pray for those we love, and even for ourselves.  As believers we know that outwardly we are wasting away but inwardly we are being renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16)  I believe that God hears all of my prayers- even the ones for parking spaces- and I also believe that if that is the extent of my prayer life for the day, I am missing out on a fabulous conversation and immeasurable blessing.  My prayers should reflect the hope of eternity and the incredible riches that I have in Jesus.

Let's start at the very beginning... a very good place to start.

In our three year trip through world history we have recently been camping out with the Great Clasical composers.   One of my favorites, Johann Sebastian Bach, was a Christian and used to sign many of his works with S.D.G. for the Latin phrase "Soli Deo Gloria"- "To God Alone Be the Glory".  I like that.  It's our homeschool motto.  I want to get better at giving God the glory He is due. At living for His glory.  To paraphrase Paul- I want to have less of me and more of Him.  I'm in the process of  being conformed to the image of Christ and am also acutely aware that, like Paul, often the things I want to do are not the things I do.  So, hopefully this blog name will be a reminder to me that I serve a great God who is the only one who is worthy of honor and praise in my life.